MY New Years Resolution

My mom posted this Article from the Dec 28th issue of the Deseret News.....

2010 GOAL IS TO LOOK FOR MORE JOY AMID MOTHERHOOD MAYHEM

After our first child was born, my husband and I sat in the hospital recovery room together watching our new daughter sleep.

"Can you ever remember feeling this genuinely happy?" he asked me. I could honestly reply that I couldn't because that moment was so full of joy, relief and promise.

But after that quiet day in a quiet hospital room, the serenity of that moment escaped as I was catapulted into motherhood. Sometimes I feel like I was tricked.Don't get me wrong--I love being a mother. I chose to be a mother and I feel lucky to be one.But sometimes in the day-to-day chaos of playdates, macaroni and cheese and scraping Play-doh out of the carpet, it gets difficult to really enjoy motherhood. It gets difficult to go back to those first few moments when motherhood was purely filled with joy.

So this year, my New Year's resolution is to restore some of that motherly joy to my life. This year, I'm going to enjoy the heck out of being a mom. Sure, I already love my daughter. But I'm going to focus on really enjoying her. She's actually a pretty hilarious toddler who can make me genuinely laugh if I just let her. She's also an endearingly sweet little girl who is so full of joy that I can't help but feel happy when I'm with her.

So, yes, I'll still keep up with playdates and housework and all the monotony that comes with motherhood. But I'm hoping to also find those fleeting little moments of joy in motherhood, like when my daughter runs in to kiss me every morning and I plead for five more minutes of sleep. Maybe I should realize how lucky I am to be greeted in such loving fashion every morning.

Or I could truly enjoy our pretend tea party with the baby dolls, rather than just getting through it before I have to go make dinner.

That's a motherhood moment of joy that I know I'll miss when my daughter is a teenager and doesn't want to sit down to chat over make-believe cookies anymore.

When that day comes, I'm sure I won't dwell on the headaches and hassles of motherhood but relish the memories of those joyful moments.And maybe that's the truth of motherhood--joy comes in snippets, in little moments that we have to grab onto tightly and refuse to let go.

So I guess that first maternal moment in the hospital room wasn't really a lie; it just wasn't sustainable. Real life was destined to take over, and it would be silly to expect a lifetime of meadows and smiles and constant happiness.In fact, that would be plain old boring.

So this year I'll be taking the motherhood mayhem in stride, but I'll be seeking out those elusive, but infinitely precious, joyful motherhood moments.I'll be holding on tight to those moments that whisk me back to a serene hospital room where I was truly, genuinely happy because I knew that being a mother was exactly who I wanted to be.